Dear Aunty Aurora,
I am an upcoming actress and I can’t seem to stop having sex with my agent, even though I know it is wrong and I should end it. I have always wanted to be a popular actress. My mum helped me find this agent two years ago, when I was 25. He is 34 and took me on saying I had promise, but there was a lot we’d need to work on. He has always been very touchy-feely but I knew he is married and was determined not to go there. I fended him off until I’d been with him for six months. I was getting very distressed one afternoon on location because I couldn’t get the kind of work I wanted, no matter what I tried.
He calmed me down, saying he would get me better bookings, then suggested going for a drink. We went back to the shoot hotel and I almost immediately fell asleep on the bed. He lay next to me and started touching me. I responded and we had sex. That was the start of our affair. I felt bad because his wife deserves a faithful husband. After a year I couldn’t handle the guilt, so I ended it. I tried going on dates with single guys but couldn’t bring myself to be sexual with them. My agent keeps making advances towards me and my body responds to him in spite of myself. He knows how to push my buttons, so I keep getting drawn back into the affair. I never dreamed I would be the other woman and I am disgusted with myself. I want to enjoy my work, to focus on my acting and to no longer have to want this guy. What should I do? Chioma, Magogo.
Dear Chioma: It sounds as though you are vulnerable to a man who is prepared to prey on your weak moments. The longer you work with him, the harder it will be to break away. Look around for another agent. It may set your career back temporarily but that would be better than staying trapped in this toxic relationship. When you feel ready for a relationship, don’t rush into sex. Take time to get to know a man well first and sex is likely to be much better.
Photo Credit: Getty
