Dear Aunty Aurora,
Thank you for creating this platform for people like me to ask questions and receive prompt response to issues that weigh heavily on our minds. I got married about two months ago and everything has been going well except in the bedroom department. You see, my husband and I prior to marriage decided we will keep intimacy till we were properly married, so I got married a virgin. My source of concern right now is the fact that I think my husband is a little too eager in the bedroom or maybe I just wasn’t expecting that I would have to perform my ‘wifely duties’ several times in a day. I have tried reading books on sex and everything involved in it, but I am yet to figure out if the frequency with which it happens in my marriage is healthy or even normal. So, my question is, how many times in a day is it advisable to have sex ?
Juliet, Oyo.
Dear Juliet,
I really appreciate your kind words and I hope my response to your question will help you get past the challenge and enjoy your new life fully. Intimacy in every relationship especially marriage is very important. Being a newly wed with no previous experience, it is understandable that you might feel a little bit overwhelmed at first with all the attention you are getting from your partner. Men generally in their younger years are said to have a higher sex-drive than their female counterpart which may account for your inability to match your husband’s appetite. Frequency of sexual intercourse between couples also vary so there are no clear-cut rules or fixed number of times you and your husband can hit the sheets. A couple’s sex life is affected by so many different factors: age, lifestyle, each partner’s health and natural libido and, of course, the quality of their overall relationship, to name just a few. Being newly married may also be more reasons why your husband is making more demands of you. So, what do you do since you are obviously not having fun? I will advice that you open up about how you feel to your husband. Intimacy should bring you both closer not tear you apart and since you are not totalling going with the swing of things, tell your husband about it. There are other ways you can satisfy your husband without engaging in the full sex-act. The marriage is for the both of you to enjoy and I think communicating your needs and feelings is a very important part of intimacy. Go enjoy your life dear.
Aunty Aurora.
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